I came into this class super excited, but also super nervous. As the child of two directors and as an actor who has been inspired by numerous directors in my life, I came in with a lot of expectations as to what makes a good director. I had worked as an assistant director before, at my high school and local community theaters, but this was my first time having projects of my own that allowed me to really conceptualize. It felt like a lot of pressure.
The exercises we did in class really helped ease my nerves. I started off as one of the quieter members of our class, letting other people take the lead because I didn’t want to step on their toes or hinder their creativity, but eventually I found my own voice. I really appreciated our workshops on stage area and body positions. I had never considered that American audiences read from left to right and how that can affect their perception of a character. I definitely took this into consideration when directing my Cocktail.
Open and closed scenes were the perfect trial run teaching me how to communicate with actors, run a rehearsal, and give or receive constructive feedback.
When it was ultimately time for Cocktails, I was thrilled that I was able to cast my first choice actors. My number one goal throughout the process was to make sure that everyone had an enjoyable experience, and maybe made a friend along the way. In that case, I think I succeeded.
In the initial blocking, I paid very close attention to levels. I often revisited the levels section of Directing for the Stage by Terry John Converse. I cared a lot about the idea of power or status in the scene. We decided through character development that Jamie is of a higher class and higher level of education than Cam, but that does not necessarily mean that she always has the power in the context of the scene. When my classmate, Chaim came to review one of our rehearsals he described the characters saying, “Jamie knows a lot, but doesn’t want much, while Cam doesn’t know much, and wants a lot.” I really appreciated this analysis of the characters, and looking back, I feel that that is how I interpreted power. At different points throughout the play, power fluctuated between knowledge and desire. The characters start on the same plain. Then, Cam becomes intrigued by her surroundings and climbs up the ladder, giving her higher status as she has more of a desire. When Jamie is explaining what ghost lights are used for, Cam is on her knees bent over the chest. Jamie has more knowledge and therefore more power in the scene. When the two characters argue, Cam takes one step up the ladder, this was a subtle hint as a director that I feel Cam is correct in the argument over whether theatre should start up again. Overall, I cared a lot about levels when directing this play.
I really love theatrical design, but I sometimes worry about if I have the credentials to do it for real. Directing my Cocktail really showed me that I do have the potential and drive for design, as most of my design conceit happened subconsciously. The idea to perform the show in the dark started as just a rehearsal exercise. My ground plan kept evolving as I learned and developed more thoughts about my setting and time period. I randomly had the idea one day to center the play around Cocktail Theatre itself. I had not originally come in with that idea in mind, but I feel like it resonated with the audience so much more than it would have otherwise.
That being said, while I love tech and design, I think I took on too much during our tech rehearsals. Having seven directors in a room together all trying to direct one big show made for a very tense environment. I offered to help with lights because I wanted to be helpful and to help make the tech process go faster. The energy in the room was pretty strained and sometimes it felt like people were yelling at me when I was just trying to help them execute their ideas. I spoke with many of my peers, and I realize now that everyone was just frustrated in general, and not actually upset with me or their lights, but this experience taught me a lot about communication. There seemed to be a lot of miscommunication surrounding sound design and whose job it was, and few people seemed frustrated with the lack of experience and professionalism among the actors and some of the tech and directorial team, but I don’t necessarily think that’s fair. Cocktails is intended a learning experience for both the actors and the directors, be it learning a new tech skill, learning how to be on stage for the first time, learning how to run a rehearsal, etc. We all learn in different ways and it is important that we all be patient with each other.
During the tech process, I learned to pick and choose my battles. In this case, I kept pretty quiet during tech rehearsals unless an issue had to do specifically with my show. I learned that sometimes people get their way or take credit for your idea just because they talk louder than you, which taught me:
- That sometimes I need to speak up for myself
- That sometimes things aren’t worth arguing about.
None of this is intended to discredit my fellow classmates and directors. They are all incredibly talented and some of them are my very best friends. Which also taught me about separating work and private life. I think we all did that very well.
Reflecting on the final performance of my play, I love the way it looked visually from the use of different playing areas, to the flashlights, (even though I would have used different ones) to the bright future that the ghost light alludes to. I think it is visually quite pretty. I love that I set it on Bucknell’s campus and that I alluded to future issues in our own area. I love that I alluded to the other Cocktails of the night, creating a cohesive retrospective, yet forward-thinking piece. That being said, I wouldn’t change this, but I feel that by placing my cocktail at the end, it turned into a somewhat epilogue for the show. In some ways I feel like this was a very nice conclusion to the night, but maybe it wasn’t seen on par with the other cocktails, because it felt more immersive and meta- and not like watching the other plays. I really hope this didn’t take away from what the play represents at its core.
If I had more time, I would have liked to work with my actors more on their body language and how to set them apart from the actors in the other Cocktails (the actors of “the past”). I also wish they had looked more like they were from the future, but what exactly does the future look like? Who’s to say? I guess I am, in this case. I definitely would have put more time into volume, diction, and looking up and out. The other thing that was very important to me, and I would have dedicated more time to is the idea of the bond between two unlikely friends.
Overall, I was very pleased with my actors who grew so much and tackled so many notes without hesitation. It felt so rewarding to hear audience feedback and get hugs after the production, and I wouldn’t trade this experience for anything else.
I am so grateful to Anjalee for guiding us all through this new and challenging process, and I am so thankful to cfrancis for writing a lovely review of my direction.